Five Romance Behaviors that are Swoon-Worthy in Books but I Hate in Real Life

Welcome back! Let’s talk about books. Authors love to write dramatic and heart-racing scenes in their books, and as readers, we gobble up everything they can give us. After living in the fantasy world that authors have created, readers have to take a step back and root themselves into reality (unfortunately).

Though I love romance in novels, most behaviors I read about I would never want to happen to me in real life. Here are five romance behaviors that are swoon-worthy in books but I hate in real life.

1. Possessiveness

In healthy relationships, the possessiveness of the other person is a huge red flag. People live their own lives, and they should not revolve around a friend or romantic partner. On the other hand, possessive behaviors in literature are fascinating. These behaviors can range from the classic “You’re mine.” scenario to more subtle manipulation of the other’s autonomy.

Kenzo refuses to let me go as we leave the elevator, but Diesel manages to get close.

“You thought I would let you leave? I told you, you’re mine, they would have to kill me to stop me from coming after you.”

Den of Vipers by K.A. Knight

Either way, literature explores the psychological consequences of manipulation. Many times, books disguise possessive behavior for romantic bonding, which elicits butterfly effects in many romance-lovers. You are so overwhelmed by your affection for this person that you want to give them everything you have.

It’s essential to recognize that possessive relationships are not ideal. No one should have control over another like that. While reading romance novels, you may indulge in tropes, but I recommend not mirroring your genuine relationships to the toxic ones you read about.

2. Surprise Displays of Affection

Reading about a sudden kiss or passionate scene feels so great, in my opinion. I feel a drop in my stomach, and I never want the feeling to end. Although I believe reading to enjoy the story is healthy and valid, analyzing the literature you read is essential in separating fantasy from reality.

I seized his collar and pulled him down for a kiss, ghoulish countenance and all, ignoring his muffled sound of protest, which did not remain on his lips for long.

An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson

Surprise kissing someone may cross some consent boundaries with certain people, and I recommend not implementing this in relationships unless you have the other person’s permission. Not everyone may appreciate the gesture, and it could shatter any trust with the person you’ve been spending time with.

To reiterate the sentiment, surprise displays of affection are excellent plot devices in books. Most times, romance readers wait for those moments so they can get sucked into the story. There is no issue with enjoying the trope when you see it in novels. Should you model your interactions with people after that? I don’t recommend it.

3. Climbing into Bedroom Window

I’m not too fond of this behavior in real life, and every critique in this section comes straight from my heart. Let’s start with why people love it. The risk is enticing, especially if the couple is forbidden to see each other. The author creates a perfect set-up for the couple to have some spicy alone time. It’s easy to manipulate the trope into something romantic and entertaining.

I still didn’t turn around. “How often did you come here?”

“I come here almost every night.”

I whirled, stunned. “Why?”

“You’re interesting when you sleep.” He spoke matter-of-factly. “You talk.”

Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

First of all, I’d be upset if anyone in my life did this to me because it’s a breach of privacy. It’s technically breaking and entering, which I do not encourage. While it can be romantic in stories, I’d let this behavior remain in stories only.

4. Murder as Revenge

A lot of readers, including myself, enjoy dark mafia romance novels. They are filled with drama, danger, and romance. These kinds of books love to feature the trope of murder as revenge. Someone hurt the main character before the book starts, and the love interest finds out about it and gets angry. They’ll say something like ‘Who did this to you?” or “I’ll rip them to threads for how they hurt you.” Romantic, right?

In one motion, I’m lifted into the air. One of his hands touches the back of my head.

“I’m going to kill him.”

He turns his head, pressing a kiss to my temple.

“He’ll pay for this, love.”

Wicked Dreams: A Dark High School Bully Romance by S Massery

After this, the love interest will hunt down the person who hurt their lover and tear them to threads. I eat this up when I read it in romance books, but I do not condone murder. I would never want to be in this situation for obvious reasons. Bottom line: Don’t murder people, and there is nothing wrong with enjoying this trope in literature.

5. Public Grand Gestures

This one is the least problematic of the five, and for me, it all depends on personal preference. Public grand gestures refer to the marriage proposals at baseball games and surprise flash mobs on someone’s lunch break at work. They can be sweet in novels, especially if the main character loves those gestures. I understand why others love when this happens to them, but I would despise it.

If this happened to me in real life, I would want to hide somewhere so other people would stop looking at me. The privacy of intimate moments like marriage proposals appeals to me, and that intimacy would be ruined if everyone watched. All in all, it is valid to enjoy grand public gestures in books and real life. They can be highly romantic and create lasting memories.